Here’s the scenario. You find yourself in a gogo bar sitting next to an attractive dancers whose gender you are not totally sure of. You’ve had a few drinks but you’re not completely drunk, and yet you couldn’t confidently say if the bikini clad girl sat next to you (occasionally stroking your thigh), was born a she or a he.

You’ve already bought her a lady drink and you have to admit, she looks incredibly hot. You don’t feel uncomfortable in her presence, but you’ve really got to know if this is a girl or a guy. In fact you’ve got to know now before you do something you might regret, but you don’t have the balls to just ask her (and hope she doesn’t have them either!).

Even if you are somewhat intoxicated, finding out whether your new crush is on a lady or ladyboy is as easy as A, B, C.

A is for Appearance

Is she wearing a lot of make-up? Ladyboys tend to go heavy on the make-up, and some have a fixation for lots of white face powder. Ok, it’s not exactly incriminating evidence, many Thai girls go heavy on the make up or power too.

OK, that didn’t help.. Is she dressed kind of.. slutty? Ladyboys tend to show off their figure, especially if they’ve had some serious surgery done. While your typical Thai girl will usually be quite reserved when it comes to showing flesh, a ladyboy who has sculptured her body will often dress in revealing outfits, keen to show the results..

Oh wait, everyone is wearing bikinis, this is a gogo bar. Well, at least you can get a good look at her body.


B is for Body

Is she taller than you? While your average Thai girl is around 157 cm, ladyboys tend to be noticeably taller, with many around the 170 cm mark and above. It’s not exactly a fool proof sign but if she’s towering over you then it’s at least a good clue!

Damn, she’s sitting down and wearing crazy high heel, it’s too hard to tell, you say.

Does she have an Adam’s apple? It’s not always easy to tell, and not all ladyboys will have a visible Adam’s apple, some will even have it shaved down in size, and in some rare cases it’s possible for women to have visible Adam’s apples.

Well, that really didn’t help either.

Are her feet and/or hands bigger than yours? Ladyboys can have every operation in the catalogue but there’s little that can be done to reduce the size of your hands or feet (although Thai men aren’t particularly known for their huge hands and feet).

Her feet and hands aren’t big, but they’re not exactly small. Hmm. And now she’s seen you looking her up and down for so long she’s getting even more ‘friendly.’ Time to analyze how she acts! Now we’ll get to the bottom of this (to pardon a cheeky pun).

C is for Conduct

How is her voice? Is it very low and masculine? Unnaturally high-pitched? Ladyboys tend to have two kinds of voices. Those with deeper, more naturally masculine voices, and those who train their voice to be more feminine often develop a very unnaturally high pitched tone.

Saying that, it’s probably not easy to tell when you’re sat in a noisy gogo bar.

Take a look at how she moves. Does she make exaggerated gestures when she talks with her friends? Ladyboys tend to be very animated in the way they talk, especially with their close friends. Unlike most Thais, it’s common for ladyboys to use more hand gestures when in conversation.

How does she walk? For many ladyboys life is one big catwalk, and their figure and feminine look is crucial to their identity, including the way they walk. If she’s swaying those hips like a ship in a storm, and flicking her hair as if she’s in a shampoo advert, that’s a strong hint that you’ve got yourself a ladyboy.


The final test

Still not convinced? Time to check her ID. The ID card is the dead giveaway, if she was born a he then her ID card will still refer to her as a him (assuming of course that is her real ID card..).

If you still just don’t know you have two final options. A, just grow a pair and ask her (if it’s a girl she’ll probably be offended, but it will now make sense why you’ve been staring her up and down in such a creepy way), and if she’s a ladyboy she might just lie any, especially as by now you’re pretty drunk.

Option B. Just don’t care. If it looks like a girl, moves like a girls, smells like a girl, just take a gamble. Afterall, TIT (This Is Thailand).

By Kim Loe